It's OK to Not Be OK

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"It's okay to not be okay."

A friend wrote that on Facebook the other day and it felt like such a relief to read it.

Between losing our 14-year-old dog, feeling stress at work and at home, dealing with anxiety and digestion issues, and hearing so many heartbreaking stories in the news, I've been feeling somewhat not okay for the past few weeks.

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Most times I've sat down at the computer to write a blog post, I don't know where to start.

It's hard to write about upbeat, day-to-day topics when my heart feels heavy.

How can I write about handstands or my favorite fall recipes when I'm thinking about the way the air felt the morning that we buried Jess, or how sometimes I go to fill up her food and water bowls only to remember they're not there?

It's impossible to predict how grief will feel, even when you know it's coming. There is no timeline for letting go, no guidelines for how that process will look.

So I take things one day at a time, knowing I'm in the grieving process.

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And then, I hear about big things going on in the world. Devastation, loss.

Vegas. Puerto Rico. The fires in California. 

Stories of sexual harassment and assault that make my stomach turn.

Even the local news has its fair share of disheartening headlines.

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So I've been turning to my yoga practice, taking time to move and release stress from my physical body.

I've cried.

I've let myself sleep in, take time away from my phone, cancel plans.

And I've been sitting with that mantra, that it's okay not to be okay.

In fact, it's better to sit with these raw emotions, instead of trying to hide behind a fake smile.

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So if you're in that space, or you're going through some trying circumstances, please know that you're not alone.

We have each other.

We all need a hug in times like these. Please know that I'm sending you one.

We'll get through this. And, in the meantime, it's OK to not be OK all the time.

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