I'm a Yoga Teacher!

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Photo by Cait Loper Photography. 
Hi lovely yogis!

Exciting news: I’m teaching yoga classes!!!

I've added a page to Alive in the Fire so you can keep up with my upcoming classes in the Sacramento area. Hope to see you on your mat soon.

PS If you’re a yogi in the Sac area who’s interested in doing one-on-one classes, feel free to send me an email at aliveinthefire at gmail dot com.


Santosha: Contentment

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Photos via Pinterest.

In this moment, I am happy.

In this moment, I am full, content, alive.

In this moment, I feel a peaceful kind of happiness where I can rest without desire.


On my mat, I am content with where I am in the posture today. I accept this moment as it is.

Today, I practice santosha. I practice contentment.


Yogachicago.com describes santosha this way:

“Contentment is serenity, but not complacency. It is comfort, but not submission; reconciliation, not apathy; acknowledgment, not aloofness. Contentment is a mental decision, a moral choice, a practiced observance, a step into the reality of the cosmos. Contentment/santosha is the natural state of our humanness and our divinity and allows for our creativity and love to emerge. It is knowing our place in the universe at every moment. It is unity with the largest, most abiding, reality.”

Yoga Mat Straps

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Photos via The Apron Shop.

I've discovered my favorite yoga mat carrying strap: the yoga sling via The Apron Shop on Etsy. The shop's owner, Carmen, was kind enough to donate straps for me and my sponsored yogis, and we love them!

The strap makes it super easy to carry my mat to and from the studio, and I love that it's lightweight, durable, and compact. 

 

The shop also features mat carrying bags, and all the items are very reasonably priced.

As my sponsored yogi Justin said when he received the mat sling: "Look who's ready for class!" :)

I highly recommend checking out The Apron Shop!

Celebrating Yoga Teacher Training Graduation

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Yogis, I did it! I completed my first yoga teacher training!

Vinyasa. 200 hours. Woohoo!!

I could not be more grateful for the experience, and for the other amazing trainees who joined me on the journey. We did some amazing work and each of us grew stronger, laughed, cried, and supported each other the whole way through.

I feel incredibly

empowered

 by the training, and more than ready to share yoga with my students. Thank you,

Leap

! And thank you: Corey, Cathy, Amy, Karl, Tracy, Rachel, Valerie, Aaron, Lisa, Lindsay, Susanne and Lauren -- you guys are rockstars. I can't wait to keep taking your classes :)

Our retreat weekend in Bodega Bay was such a beautiful end to the 5 months of training. We got to stay in a beautiful house right on the beach, and we ran around in the (freezing) water, meditated, chanted, ate amazing food, played silly games, and (of course) did hours and hours of yoga :)

It felt amazing to be near the water and to spend some time in

noble silence

, too. We did a hike together without speaking to each other. It's so powerful to be in community but also allow yourself some space to reflect and just

be

.

I also loved leading and participating in our kirtan. Singing and chanting always makes me feel so connected spiritually, and so grateful to engage in my practice and be reminded of the

humility and devotion

 that is part of my yoga.

It was so inspiring to take ten different 30-minute classes from my favorite yoga teachers. We each stepped into our voices as teachers and led beautiful flows...

So proud of all of you, TEACHERS, and so excited to see where teaching yoga takes each of us!

Gratitude

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Photo by the talented Cara Brostrom.

There is something to be grateful for in this moment, right here. 

Even when you are in pain, there can be gratitude.

Photo via Yoga Dudes on Tumblr.

Today I choose to bring a little smile to the corners of my mouth.

I choose to be grateful, even if it's only for this breath. I am grateful to bring my feet to my mat. To be blessed by those around me, by their love.

Photo by Christine Hewitt of Yogic Photos. (She's one of my absolute favorite yoga photographers!)

The world is alive with life and beauty.

Pause for a moment. See what you notice.

Namaste.

Changing Plans

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Photos via Pinterest.

How often do things go exactly as you’ve planned them?

Lately I’ve been thinking about the power of being flexible. Of living life in the moment, and being open to possibility, rather than having rigid expectations about how things will play out. How often are you able to surrender to the moment rather than freaking out when something unexpected comes along?

Whether it’s in the day-to-day experience of life or my goals for my future, it is when I am able to be fluid, gentle, and open that I truly experience the power of yoga off the mat.

Softening, opening, allowing… that is the yoga.

Today sponsored yogi Deborah Jane shares her experience with going with the flow, and how powerful it can be…
Photo courtesy of Deborah Jane.

This morning I planned to drop off my son and head right to the yoga studio for class with one of my favorite teachers. That was my plan—no indication that life would throw me a curve. When I went to get back in the car, my son didn’t want me to leave him. My six-year-old, who has zero attachment issues and never minds when I leave him with his friends, wanted me to stay.

“OK,” I reluctantly told him, growing more panicked as the minutes ticked by and I started to realize that I would be late for class. I don’t like being late. My anxiety grew to a full fledged panic, complete with dragging my little one into the ladies room with me so i could sit against the wall and breathe. Ha! Panic attacks because I am late to yoga? Isn’t it ironic? “Yoga’s become my drug and I need a fix,” I thought.

Several minutes later, while looking into my baby’s blue eyes, I had clarity. STAY with him. And i did. And he was happy and I was happy to be with him.

Isn’t that the real yoga? Being present to the moment, and just rolling with it?

I did end up making it to class. I stumbled in 15 minutes late, just as my teacher was asking the class, “What do we do when life doesn’t go according to our plan?”

Of course. That is the real yoga.

When my son was a baby and I was a frazzled, single mom, I remember coming to the studio and running into one of the teachers from my teacher training. He looked at me toting my boy and could see I was clearly sleep-deprived and feeling stressed. “That’s the real yoga,” he told me as he looked at us. I never forgot those words, and they still ring true.

When I slack at asana practice because life makes me too busy or tired, I come back to this: we practice on the mat so that we can show up with grace, dignity, and presence for our lives.

Om Namah Shivaya.

Thanks, Deborah, for sharing your beautiful perspective. Your words resonate in my heart and I am grateful for your honesty, strength and willingness to truly live your yoga. Namaste!

Am I Pretty Enough?

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I think the "Am I pretty enough?" question is one that a lot of yogis battle, women in particular. As we practice on the mat at home and in the studio, we find ourselves wondering: Am I beautiful? Is my body attractive (enough)? And can yoga transform me into someone sexier?


Putting on skin-tight yoga pants or some skimpy shorts for class leaves us over-thinking our body image or comparing ourselves to others around us. Some of us find our thoughts racing: can yoga help me lose weight? Do I need to lose weight? 


With the pressures of an appearance-driven society motivated by the superficial (and all the glamorous models and yoga teachers out there), we see may begin ourselves as less beautiful than we are.


We look in the mirror to find flaws, instead of the beauty that's there. Or we become hyper-conscious and/or hyper-critical of "problem" areas.



You know you've seen these kinds of people in yoga class -- the ones that can't stop staring at their asses in the mirror for a 90-minute Bikram class, or re-adjusting their clothes in the middle of the Ashtanga primary series, or staring at the cute teacher and winking as they stretch into upward dog with a suggestive exhale.

Instead of choosing to approach yoga in this way, we can offer the practice as sacred, loving devotion. In yoga, we honor our bodies, not judge them.


Or, on the other end of the spectrum, there are yogis who are too scared to leave the living room because ashamed or embarrassed about their bodies. They set up their mats at the back of the studio, hoping no one will notice muffin top, a flabby bum, or adult acne. They misconstrue their outer appearance as a measure of their own self-worth.


Believing in your beautiful body is important. So is understanding that we're not all made to be the same size or shape.

As someone who's always been on the curvier side, I've had periods in my life when I have felt unattractive, inadequate, or downright unlovable. I've been overweight, and wished like hell to lose it again so I can fit into my "skinnier" jeans. I've never been a size 4/6, and I never will be. 

But what I have come to learn is that I am in the body I'm meant to have, and that I'm beautiful the way I am. I also accept that my body will change over time, and that I can control some of those changes.



I've learned to make peace with who I am, inside and out. This isn't easy. It involves constantly re-accepting myself, being grateful for the capable body I have, and learning to cast off the messages around me about what it means to be "sexy."

In the interest of inspiring you guys to do the same, here are a few thoughts on how you can transform your thinking from, "Am I pretty enough?" to "How can I love myself better?"


Surround yourself with friends and family who support and love you. 

One of the best things you can do for your self-esteem is to put people in your life who will remind you that you are loved, just the way you are. They'll remind you that it's OK to eat brownies and potato chips now and then. They'll inspire you to go for a walk when you'd rather sit on the couch all day. 

Next, I highly recommend taking a long, hard look at your strengths. Instead of focusing on what you wish you could change, consciously choose to be grateful for what you love about yourself.


For every "flaw" you can find, there's something great about it. In my case, I couldn't do warrior-like yoga poses if not for my dancer's legs, which are curvy and muscular. My well-developed calves let me ride my bike like the wind. And because I've got hips, I look like a woman when I wear a dress, not a little girl.
  

When I take a close look at who I am, I know I'm beautiful. I'm real. I'm full of imperfections and blemishes which, when you look at the bigger picture, are no big deal.

  
Which brings me to another important point: I'm healthy in body, mind and spirit. 

 I am continuously learning to manage my stress, to find balance. I ask for what I need instead of trying to handle challenges on my own without the support of those who love me. When I set my mind to something, I can achieve it. I am strong and capable, with the willpower I need.


I replenish my spirit with love. I pray, believe, and act out my faith in the everyday. I share my passion with family and friends, express who I am in my writing, and cherish my relationships with others around me. Largely in part through my yoga, I have come to acknowledge and accept where I am in the present, in order to move toward a happier and healthier future.


I have begun to look in the mirror and smile instead of cringe at what I know is beautiful.


So, yes, I am pretty enough. And I know it doesn't always feel like it, but so are you.




For more inspiration on developing a healthy body image, see these posts from these bloggers:
Have you struggled to build a positive image of yourself? What have you learned? Please share your comments below, and thanks for reading!

A Book for Yoga Beginners

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Photos courtesy of Meagan McCrary.

When you’re new to the practice, the world of yoga can feel overwhelming.

I often hear a lot of questions from beginner yogis:
·         
- Which kind of yoga should I try?
- Can I practice if I’m not flexible?
- Will I be able to keep up?
- What’s the difference between vinyasa and yin?
- Should I try a hot class?
- Will other people notice that I don’t know what I’m doing?

A new student of mine put it this way when she was thinking about going to her first class: “I’m going to be such a mess!”

She was nervous about walking into a studio because she didn't know what to expect.



If you’re a new yogi looking for resources on what kind of yoga would be a good fit for you, I highly recommend checking out this book:

Pick Your Yoga Practice by Meagan McCrary.

 Here's a quote from the book I loved... it really speaks to how as you grow deeper in the experience of yoga, it begins to translate from the mat into your everyday life:

You may also notice that your yoga practice is a microcosm for your life. The way you are on your mat — how you respond to challenges, handle disappointment, and relate to yourself, how present you are, how willing you are to try new things — is the way you’ll be off your mat as well. In yoga, you get to “practice” being the way you want to be in a safe, contained environment. (After all, yoga practice is just that, practice.)*

If you've found yoga but you feel like you don't know where to start, pick up a copy of Meagan's book. Explore your options. And be patient with yourself -- you're at the beginning. And it's a great place to be.
*Excerpted from the book Pick Your Yoga Practice© 2013 by Meagan McCrary. Printed with permission of New World Library www.newworldlibrary.com 

I Create My Own Chaos (Thoughts on Staying Relaxed and Setting Boundaries During the Holiday Season)

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Photos via Pinterest.

Today on Alive in the Fire we’re going to talk about setting healthy boundaries for yourself and with those you love. During the holidays, this can be especially challenging – you’re meeting up with family members you may not have seen in a long time, or maybe some who you don’t get along well with. It’s important to check in with yourself: what are my needs? What emotions am I neglecting?

Often it can be tempting to agree to spending time doing whatever everyone else has planned, or saying “yes” to all of the chaos that’s available: over-spending on gifts, filling up the calendar, pushing yoga to the bottom of the priority list, not taking time to release frustration and built-up emotion, and just generally getting overwhelmed by the flurry of activity going on.

As we close out this year, I invite you to consider this: what chaos am I creating in my own life? What can I choose to let go of?

It’s just like finding our edge in yoga and choosing to respect that edge while we are in the pose. Where can I soften? Instead of forcing, where can I release?


One of my sponsored yogis, Justin, shares some reflections on how you can protect your own space and choose to be happy even when the holidays provide opportunities to get stressed… these are some fantastic tips!


 The holidays are usually a time of year I would prefer to avoid. I watch as the number in my bank account decreases, and my expectation for having the "perfect" holiday increases, and the likelihood of family drama usually sky rockets. Often I do my best to avoid the typical holiday, but this year I had the most family interaction in over 5 years and there was little to no trouble with my family members...and No...I didn't replace them with paid actors, I've just put into practice many tips and techniques I've learned over the years.

 Visiting family over the holidays is similar to trying out a new yoga studio after a long break from practice. The studio might not be the right temperature and my body might be super tight...this certainly is not what I want! But if I accept that the studio and my body are how they are, and work with them in that moment, then there's the opportunity for things to warm up, get moving, and actually be enjoyable. I've learned that if I accept my family as they are and don't expect them to be the perfect, father, mother, sister, etc. then the entire interaction has a chance to warm up as opposed to when I fought so hard to make them into the person I wanted them to be. 

I know that was an amazing metaphor that will instantly transform you life, but just in case it didn't here are some practical tips that have helped me reduce holiday drama:

  • I stay with a friend I like spending time with instead of family.
  • I have an alternative plan for every situation that makes me nervous. It's easier to stay if I know it's by choice and not lack of options.
  • I plan for the worst and hope for the best.
  • I limit the time I spend with people I don't like. I can hold my tongue easier for two hours than two days.
  • I start defining my plans and expectations for the holidays weeks in advance. This prevents me from surprising myself and others with the expectation of a Walton family Christmas.
  • If I'm invited to a fight, I don't accept the invitation. Like when I'm in half moon and my mind wants to make plans for the weekend I kindly decline and go back to improving my posture.


All these behaviors take practice to implement and it's helpful to hear other people with similar situations describe their success or failure with different options. Whether it’s friends in the yoga community or through other support groups I find listening to other share their experience gives me options I didn't know existed. 

 Also having a chance to share out loud my thought process makes conscious my attitudes and beliefs and gives me the opportunity to put them in perspective and change them once I recognize how unreasonable and unhelpful they are. 

 The 2013 holidays are almost behind us; let's use them as a reference point for learning and growth and a stepping stone to cheerful holidays in 2014.

All Is Love

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"Hi, beautiful!"

To walk into a sacred space and be greeted by loving, kind, open-hearted yogis is such a gift. Today I am blown away by the love and gratitude present in my yoga community.


I am so, so grateful to connect with fellow students and teachers. To look around the room and sense the presence and compassion. To witness the beautiful energy that comes from raising our collective vibration.

I am so grateful to sit at the front of class and feel my heart flutter as I beat on my drum and sing a chant and watch the yogis around me engage fully in their practice.


As my teacher says, "We are all, quite literally, in this together."

We can choose to be loving and kind to each other. That energy we send out is coming right back to us.

"Everything around us is a sea of love... all you have to do is swim in it."

Today I am humbled in gratitude for the yogis standing on the mats next to me, for our teachers who fearlessly hold space and help us find our fire and stand in it.

All is love!

om shanti shanti shanti ~ ~ ~ peace!

Holiday Stress

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Photos via My Morning Coffee on Tumblr.

I’m feeling heavy today. My mind seems to be running wild with worries.

When will I be done fighting this cold? My schedule is so busy.

The holidays are coming up. Can I afford to buy that gift when I still have one more teacher training payment left?

Work projects are making my head spin. It’s hard to concentrate when I feel tired and sneezy…


I wasn’t expecting a text from a family member I haven’t talked to in months. For some reason, reading his message made my heart feel heavy. What will I say to him? I wonder if my yoga and meditation practice are stirring up old hurt that I’m ready to move through now. Now I’m thinking about past relationships, and my future, and yet wanting to live in the present moment…

Yesterday at my yoga studio I overheard a teacher talking to a student about how she’s been noticing people in classes lately are moody. “It must be the holidays – everybody’s grumpy and angry!” she said. “You can feel it as soon as you walk into the room.”

The two of them laughed about how at this time of year we let ourselves get stressed out.


“You know what I’m going to do between now and Christmas?” she said. “I’m going to make a commitment to get to a class at the studio every day. Even if that means getting up at 5:45 so I can fit my yoga in.”

Today, while things feel chaotic, I am reminded of the value of making time for my practice. I commit to getting on my mat.


Today I’ve gone through the process of getting upset, observing myself overreact, and allowing myself to sit with the feeling of discomfort for a moment rather than turning to the nearest distraction for momentary relief. Instead of letting the worries run wild, I took a moment to look at them and figure out what was really bothering me. I made a list of what’s priority—what I can take care of now, and what I can let go of. And I made a promise to myself to practice yoga today as part of that letting go.

Ultimately, I realized: I’ll be OK. I always am. This becomes clear every time I take a moment to breathe, to reconnect. When I make an effort to consciously be more grateful for the blessings I have, or to ask for the help I need. This moment of heaviness will pass.


Namaste.

5 Minute Meditation

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Take a moment from your day. Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position. Close your eyes.

Trace your inhale. Notice when the inhale begins and when it ends. Notice the moment of stillness between the inhale and the exhale.

As thoughts appear in your mind, notice them, but do not attach. Let them arrive and leave again like waves.


Focus your attention on your third eye. 

Ask yourself: how would it look to be living my ideal life? How would I spend my days? How would I feel?

Relax. Gaze into your third eye. Allow the answers within to surface.


As you transition out of meditation, deepen your exhales. Feel your body grounded on the earth. Slowly come back.

It's Time to Put the Brakes On

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Photos via Pinterest.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.
- Gandhi

I’m feeling pulled in all directions this week. Lots going on. Lots of people reaching out. Lots of new possibilities.

At this time of year, it’s easy for me to over-commit. I think I may have wandered into that territory already.


Thankfully, I have my yoga practice. On my mat, I return to center. I re-align with what is most important. I check in with myself.

Where am I physically, mentally, emotionally? What do I need? What have I been neglecting?

It is important to rest in stillness, but so often I make excuses not to slow down. I’ll rest after I check the next thing off my list…


This week my intention is to slow down and to be gentle with myself. I choose to actively cultivate self-awareness, to practice good self-care, and to release what no longer serves me.

PS I recently discovered this Guide to Cutting Back When You Feel Overwhelmed from Leo at Zen Habits. It has some really helpful tips about how to go about cutting down your to-do list, and generally lowering stress by being realistic about your commitments!

Happy December!

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Photos via Pinterest.

Somehow the holidays always manage to sneak up on me.

One minute it’s flip flop season and the next, Halloween and Thanksgiving have already passed. Do you guys feel this way?!

Regardless, I’m excited for December. I love seeing all the festive lights and getting cozy and wearing slippers and having hot chocolate. I love wearing scarves and boots. And I love how awesome it feels to be in the heat during yoga. Such a relief from the cold, and such a light, almost magical sense in my body by the end of class.

My intention this holiday season is to hold onto that feeling of release and lightheartedness throughout each day. To give myself the gift of yoga. To connect with those I love.

And not to get caught up in the whirlwind; rather, simply to enjoy each moment as it happens.


What are you up to this holiday season?

Presence (On Dancing and Being Still)

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Photo by Cait Loper.

This weekend was wild!

 Dancing... hanging out with friends... hula hooping... staying up super late and talking... sitting by the fire... checking out a new bar... dancing to the DJ's beats... meeting new friends... hanging out in Oakland for ecstatic dance, brunch, and a walk by the lake...

 All the while, I felt very active and alive and connected. 

 I gave myself the freedom to move, to express, to seek my highest joy.

I gave myself permission to change my plans at the last minute, and to listen to my body.

 And I must say, I danced more than I have in years and it felt so good!

After such an active couple of days, I'm feeling very satisfied, grateful, and ready for some rest and relaxation.

 It is beautiful to transition into solitude and quiet after being active and social. Tonight I took a bath, ate meditatively, wrote in my journal, reflected on the upcoming yoga class I'll be teaching, and allowed myself to be instead of do.

According to Ram Dass, “[The] distortion comes from defining ourselves in terms of doing instead of being. But behind all the doings, all the roles, you just are – pure awareness, pure consciousness, pure energy. When you reside fully in the present moment, you are outside of time and space.”

Trungpa Rinpoche notes, “Our lives awaken through ordinary magic.” It’s in everyday things that the miraculous happens. If we practice being here now, we develop the sensitivity to perceive and appreciate the daily miracles of our lives."

My invitation to you tonight is to slip effortlessly into just being. Turn off your phone for a few minutes. Light a candle. Let the attachments and stories and fears recede into the background of your awareness.

If you feel like dancing, dance.

And if you dance for hours, rest.

And in all you are doing or not doing, simply allow yourself to be.

I Like Hugging You

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Photos via Pinterest.

You came over for yoga class yesterday. When you got to my apartment, I gave you a big hug. I could feel you smiling as I pulled you close.

I looked at you in class and I wanted to squeeze you again. I just felt so proud of you for being present in your practice, for being so strong. I wanted to hold you as a way of saying you are beautiful. Maybe to be held by you a little bit, too.


Sometimes a hug is like saying thank you.

In savasana, I massaged your feet for a few moments; this was its own way of hugging.



After class, I was saying farewell and gave you a big hug on your way out. We kept talking for a second and then had to have another one. I didn’t mind. 

Thanksgiving Flow (I'm Teaching My First Official Yoga Class!)

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Next week I teach my first “official” yoga class!

I’m holding space for students and rock climbers at Granite Arch in Rancho Cordova at 7pm on Tuesday, November 26. I’m super excited to do a one-hour vinyasa flow with a gratitude theme in honor of Thanksgiving. 

Join me – bring a friend and a mat, dress in layers (it’s cool inside), and climb afterward if you like! I recommend getting there a few minutes early so you can fill out a waiver.


My goals for this first class are to:

• Get grounded.
• Be present for my students.
• Connect—body, breath, spirit.
• Allow myself to be seen.
• Be gentle with myself if I get nervous or make mistakes.
• Trust my intuition.
• Help encourage others to live in gratitude.


Hope I see you on your mat!