Am I Pretty Enough?

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I think the "Am I pretty enough?" question is one that a lot of yogis battle, women in particular. As we practice on the mat at home and in the studio, we find ourselves wondering: Am I beautiful? Is my body attractive (enough)? And can yoga transform me into someone sexier?


Putting on skin-tight yoga pants or some skimpy shorts for class leaves us over-thinking our body image or comparing ourselves to others around us. Some of us find our thoughts racing: can yoga help me lose weight? Do I need to lose weight? 


With the pressures of an appearance-driven society motivated by the superficial (and all the glamorous models and yoga teachers out there), we see may begin ourselves as less beautiful than we are.


We look in the mirror to find flaws, instead of the beauty that's there. Or we become hyper-conscious and/or hyper-critical of "problem" areas.



You know you've seen these kinds of people in yoga class -- the ones that can't stop staring at their asses in the mirror for a 90-minute Bikram class, or re-adjusting their clothes in the middle of the Ashtanga primary series, or staring at the cute teacher and winking as they stretch into upward dog with a suggestive exhale.

Instead of choosing to approach yoga in this way, we can offer the practice as sacred, loving devotion. In yoga, we honor our bodies, not judge them.


Or, on the other end of the spectrum, there are yogis who are too scared to leave the living room because ashamed or embarrassed about their bodies. They set up their mats at the back of the studio, hoping no one will notice muffin top, a flabby bum, or adult acne. They misconstrue their outer appearance as a measure of their own self-worth.


Believing in your beautiful body is important. So is understanding that we're not all made to be the same size or shape.

As someone who's always been on the curvier side, I've had periods in my life when I have felt unattractive, inadequate, or downright unlovable. I've been overweight, and wished like hell to lose it again so I can fit into my "skinnier" jeans. I've never been a size 4/6, and I never will be. 

But what I have come to learn is that I am in the body I'm meant to have, and that I'm beautiful the way I am. I also accept that my body will change over time, and that I can control some of those changes.



I've learned to make peace with who I am, inside and out. This isn't easy. It involves constantly re-accepting myself, being grateful for the capable body I have, and learning to cast off the messages around me about what it means to be "sexy."

In the interest of inspiring you guys to do the same, here are a few thoughts on how you can transform your thinking from, "Am I pretty enough?" to "How can I love myself better?"


Surround yourself with friends and family who support and love you. 

One of the best things you can do for your self-esteem is to put people in your life who will remind you that you are loved, just the way you are. They'll remind you that it's OK to eat brownies and potato chips now and then. They'll inspire you to go for a walk when you'd rather sit on the couch all day. 

Next, I highly recommend taking a long, hard look at your strengths. Instead of focusing on what you wish you could change, consciously choose to be grateful for what you love about yourself.


For every "flaw" you can find, there's something great about it. In my case, I couldn't do warrior-like yoga poses if not for my dancer's legs, which are curvy and muscular. My well-developed calves let me ride my bike like the wind. And because I've got hips, I look like a woman when I wear a dress, not a little girl.
  

When I take a close look at who I am, I know I'm beautiful. I'm real. I'm full of imperfections and blemishes which, when you look at the bigger picture, are no big deal.

  
Which brings me to another important point: I'm healthy in body, mind and spirit. 

 I am continuously learning to manage my stress, to find balance. I ask for what I need instead of trying to handle challenges on my own without the support of those who love me. When I set my mind to something, I can achieve it. I am strong and capable, with the willpower I need.


I replenish my spirit with love. I pray, believe, and act out my faith in the everyday. I share my passion with family and friends, express who I am in my writing, and cherish my relationships with others around me. Largely in part through my yoga, I have come to acknowledge and accept where I am in the present, in order to move toward a happier and healthier future.


I have begun to look in the mirror and smile instead of cringe at what I know is beautiful.


So, yes, I am pretty enough. And I know it doesn't always feel like it, but so are you.




For more inspiration on developing a healthy body image, see these posts from these bloggers:
Have you struggled to build a positive image of yourself? What have you learned? Please share your comments below, and thanks for reading!

A Book for Yoga Beginners

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Photos courtesy of Meagan McCrary.

When you’re new to the practice, the world of yoga can feel overwhelming.

I often hear a lot of questions from beginner yogis:
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- Which kind of yoga should I try?
- Can I practice if I’m not flexible?
- Will I be able to keep up?
- What’s the difference between vinyasa and yin?
- Should I try a hot class?
- Will other people notice that I don’t know what I’m doing?

A new student of mine put it this way when she was thinking about going to her first class: “I’m going to be such a mess!”

She was nervous about walking into a studio because she didn't know what to expect.



If you’re a new yogi looking for resources on what kind of yoga would be a good fit for you, I highly recommend checking out this book:

Pick Your Yoga Practice by Meagan McCrary.

 Here's a quote from the book I loved... it really speaks to how as you grow deeper in the experience of yoga, it begins to translate from the mat into your everyday life:

You may also notice that your yoga practice is a microcosm for your life. The way you are on your mat — how you respond to challenges, handle disappointment, and relate to yourself, how present you are, how willing you are to try new things — is the way you’ll be off your mat as well. In yoga, you get to “practice” being the way you want to be in a safe, contained environment. (After all, yoga practice is just that, practice.)*

If you've found yoga but you feel like you don't know where to start, pick up a copy of Meagan's book. Explore your options. And be patient with yourself -- you're at the beginning. And it's a great place to be.
*Excerpted from the book Pick Your Yoga Practice© 2013 by Meagan McCrary. Printed with permission of New World Library www.newworldlibrary.com