Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Yoga is a Practice
Here are a few things that I know, in this moment.
Yoga is a practice.
And my practice is in a constant state of flux, just like me.
Postures will come and go.
Inversions? Fancy transitions? They do not define me.
Today I practiced yoga for the first time in a week, and my body felt stiff and tight. My joints ached. I tried for binds in Goddess pose and Extended Side Angle, and felt as though I was in a different body than my own.
I felt uncomfortable. I kept going. And, in Shavasana, I felt relieved and a little proud of myself for sticking through the discomfort.
I've heard other teachers and students talk about 'taking a break' from their practice. It has been years since I've done that with mine, but in the last few months there have been moments when I'd rather do anything than yoga.
I know I've spent a lot of time comparing myself to other yogis, teachers and students, deciding who has a 'stronger' practice, who knows more, who is capable, who is worthy.
I'd love to let all of that go.
I journaled about it today, actually. How I'm tired of letting my practice define me, rather than support me.
I don't live to do yoga; I do yoga in order to live a more balanced, happy, peaceful life.
Let that be my mantra. Let the comparisons and judgments fall away.
I want to be remembered as a yogi who loved wholeheartedly.
I want to be remembered as someone who cared, who took care of herself with grace and kindness, and who refused to let fear get the best of her. If handstand is in that picture, OK. If not, OK.
How do you practice ahimsa in your yoga routine? How do you let go of a fear of failure, of not being good enough?