Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Finding Yourself After a Breakup

 Photos via Pinterest.
To say that breakups are hard is an understatement. Today on the blog I want to offer a glimpse into a great book for anyone going through a difficult break-up or divorce.

In The New Single, author Tamsen Fadal explores the process of falling back in love with yourself after the end of a serious relationship. Her story is powerful and is relevant to anyone, whether or not you're experiencing heartache. Even if you're just hoping to improve your awareness of yourself and your emotions, and you want to love yourself more, this is a great read.

Here are a few excerpts that I loved...

Learn to Love the Sound of "I"
Sounds easy enough, right? Focus on yourself. The truth is, for me, it was extremely difficult. Having to spend time with my own thoughts? Having to spend time facing the truth? I was a forty-something divorcee with no children, renting an apartment, saddled with my former husband's debt and a very public divorce. The hardest thing for me to do at that moment was to be honest with myself about who I was... I was frustrated that I was starting over again and that I was alone. So, I had to take life one minute, one hour, one day at a time to be able to get real with myself.

Self Talk
Over time, I realized that my self-talk was self-destructive. It was filled with excuses and denial, both ways to protect myself from the truth. I decided to take control of my negative self-talk by composing a list of the things I should be saying...

  • You are living your life
  • You can't fix people
  • Decide what you want
  • Go after it. 100 percent.
  • Stop seeking advice from everyone.
  • Remember that before you love yourself, you must like yourself. It is essential, just like it is when it comes to finding a relationship.

What I loved most about checking out this book is that it is a reminder to all of us that we must love ourselves unconditionally if we want to be happy when in relationships.

PS: Further reading:
You were made to be real, not perfect.
Remember to breathe.

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